Sunday, September 2, 2012

Learning to Lead

Being a deep thinker sometimes makes things a little complicated. 
Sometimes it sends me down into a spiral of thoughts that I can't break free of. 
Sometimes it causes me to revel in insecurities and worries and questions. 

But most of the time it leads to some great realizations and revelations. 
It helps me understand the world, other people, and myself a little better. 

I had a lot my plate this weekend, and I also did a great deal of thinking. 

My college's fall Student Leadership Team training retreat always takes place over Labor Day weekend, and as this year's president, I was responsible for planning, organizing, and partially leading the retreat. We had lots of playtime, and we even got to spend Friday whitewater rafting! The other parts of the retreat we spent in training sessions and doing team building exercises. 

I would say that overall, the weekend was a success. I got up at the crack of dawn before anyone had even begun to wake up on Saturday to get in about eleven miles of running. I had to do it because it was on my training schedule, and I am in season now 
so I'm not about to deviate from what my coach tells me. 

But I also wanted to do it, so I could prove to myself that I can do it all. I can be in President of my school and organize all these events and lead a government team AND be a killer runner AND stay healthy AND do all of my classes AND most importantly be a good friend, sister, daughter... 

I realize that a lot of this blog lately has been me pouring my heart out about how on earth I'm supposed to balance everything, but that is because that is what I think about a lot of the time. 

But that is not meant to be the point of THIS blog. This blog is dedicated to what I have been learning about leadership. Because I'm being placed in a lot of positions of leadership this year. I am all of a sudden a leader on my team, and my coach is always having me lead drills and core and things as such. I like it, but I don't want to be overbearing. 

I don't want people to resent me if I end up "coaching" too much. 

I have never been a "captain". I have never really had a leadership role. I suppose I'm a leader by nature, but not in the sense that I am loud and decisive and people follow me. 

I suppose I lead by being an inspirer. A friend. A light. A good example. 

It's the same with government. I never asked to be President. It just sort of happened. And I'm insecure because I have never been in such an intense leadership position before. It's a lot of pressure. 

But I don't have to be someone who is super decisive or organized. I don't have to be someone who cracks down on people. That's not my style. I have to be myself. And I want to lead by inspiring. 

Even so, I have A LOT to learn about leadership. About being confident. About managing a team and delegating and working with tons of different people with different opinions and problems. 

And I'll be okay. I'll learn. 

For now, I'm going to enjoy Labor Day, which I have COMPLETELY OFF!!!! Except for the 60 minute run I have to do (no practice tomorrow), I have absolutely no plans! 
Next week will be crazy, so got to live it up!!!

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