Taking A Break

If you care more about the Promiser than the promise, you shouldn't care whether or not the promise comes to fruition. That's not your focus. Your focus in God. 

Comparison is a trap. Not only does it bring you done, but it causes you to judge others. God did not create us to compare ourselves with one another. He created us to shine for his glory. 

"Hoping in God is different than hoping in an outcome."

I have no blog theme for today. No main point. Just a few cool revelations and quotes that have been floating around in my head. 

I have decided to stay off of the internet for awhile. I have already deactivated my Facebook and cleaned out my top sites. It's summer, and I'm tired of the distractions that social media brings. I will be back, however. I love twitter and facebook and blogging and think they are great ways to connect with people and to share information. I love writing blogs and sharing my heart and expressing myself. I just know I need a couple weeks to clear my head and be tech-free. 

Unfortunately, I still have to check my email and craigslist, because I'm working on things for school in the fall and looking for a job. But I'm going to try to make that the extent of my web surfing. 

I'll be back soon :) 

It's Graduation Day!

Tonight I graduate from TVCC. 

Though it's just community college and therefore just an Associate's Degree, 

it's still exciting to celebrate life's little accomplishments. I get to make the graduation speech, and I am so blessed and honored to be able to do so, 

I know that graduating with my bachelor's will be a bigger deal, 

but I want to be proud of myself for how much I have grown the last two years. 

For how much I have learned -

 both in the classroom and outside of the classroom. 

It's so insane to reflect on the last two years of my life 

and realize how quickly time has gone.

 I obviously have mixed emotions, but I'm excited for this next stage of my life. 

To move back home. To start fresh at a University. 

To make new friends and learn new things. 

To embark on new adventures.  

Exploring Philosophy

“…But when hunger for bread came, when life began to be an earnest thing, then I realized in its dreadful depths, how poor and empty, how devitalized and comfortless, the new religion of our time had let me…. In the recesses of my being, the warmth of the gospel began to drive out the freezing chill of philosophy” – Abraham Kuyper (Qtd. A Book of Protestant Saints)

Summer has a way of making everything seem beautiful. I think the sun’s rays must permeate the soul, allowing light to flood in. Everything seems much more… simple. There is no room for busy thoughts or worry.
Summer is happy-go-lucky. Summer is carefree and unfettered.

If one is going to have an existential crisis, then, it is much more appropriate to do so in the winter. The winter casts a cold and dreary light on everything. Endless hours spent indoors can lend to sort of gloom, and it is only natural that the philosophical imagination would begin to run wild.

But not in summer, right?. Summer should be a time of light.

Who am I kidding? The search for truth never rests.

And lately, despite the bliss that summer usually brings,
my thoughts have been a little crowded.
Millions of seemingly impossible questions have taken up residency in my mind,
and it is as if a dark cloud has been blocking the radiant summer sun.

Honestly, I think everyone needs to have at least one moment of self-reflection in life. Everyone must ask themselves why they believe what they believe. 
For some, this may only need happen once.
For others, like me, it might be an almost daily occurrence.
I want truth. I am not interested in beautiful mythology or comforting ideology.

I am guessing that there are many people like me in the world, and that is likely why philosophy has become such a popular subject to study. 

While it is a certainly stimulating topic, however,
I have come to realize that philosophy is mostly empty.

It is just fluff. Not substance. Just milk. Not meat. 

Just questions. Not answers.

I realize that I am still young and that I lack life experience relative to many, but truth does not care about age nor hide itself from the young.

And truth, I have found time and time again, is ONLY in Jesus. 

He is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6). 

Every time I have a crisis of faith, I come once again back to this reality. 

He is the answer to every complex and 

impossible question I could ever conjure up. 

All of the gloomy shadows have been cast on my mind the last few weeks have been (once again) displaced by this glorious realization. 

The truth of the gospel, warm and inviting, has brought me back into the light of summer. I know why I believe why I believe. It’s because of Jesus.

Where Have You Been?

Where have I been the last few days? 

Honestly, that's a great question. 

I mean, I have been here. At school. Doing school things. 

Getting ready for finals. That kind of stuff. 

But where has my mind been? 

Well, that's one I can't really answer. 

It's been all over the place. 

I can't seem to turn it off. Thinking is completely exhausting. 

And too much free time 

(which has been my life the last few weeks) means a lot of thinking for me. 

Why have I had so much free time? Well, blame my three week long break from running.... okay, well I ran a couple of days and swam some, 

but it's STILL a break! 

And school is winding down, and I simply just don't have that much to do! Which is nice. But time has kind of drug on these last few weeks. The sun is shining, it's a million degrees outside, and all I want to do is play in the park. Not worry about responsibility. Not stress about finals. 

Not think about my future or my past or make big 

decisions or wonder how I'm going to get a job this summer or feel inadequate. 

None of that. 

I graduate a week from Friday, and I get to make the graduation speech. But after that, TVCC will be a mere memory. How bittersweet is that. I'm excited to move back home. Excited for this summer. And for next year. But it's all a little nerve wracking too! 

I got a summer running schedule from my new coach, and though I'm excited, it will be hard to move on from my current coach and my current team. 

The only picture we got our coach to take with us!

We had an end of the year dinner for Student Government the other night, and that was a completely wonderful mesh of sad and happy. I love all of those people. And it's crazy how fast the year has gone. It seems like just a month ago that I was trying to decided whether to run for president, 

and now the year is over! 

My Student Gov Team Rafting this summer!

Anyway, I am not exaggerating when I say how much has been going through my mind lately. And for some reason, that has made me less active on this blog. I promise I'll get my act together when summer comes. I have lots of things I want to say. Only a few more days. I seriously can't wait.