Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Not Knowing

Blogging in coffee shops should pretty much be my profession. 

In fact, there is probably nothing I love more. The atmosphere of coffee shops is so cozy... there is something about them that makes you feel like you can be a great author on the brink of some exciting new novel or a philosopher whose only task in life is to sit around and discuss deep concepts and the destiny of mankind. 

At the moment, I am neither of those things, of course. I am just a college student, trying to find out what it is God wants me to do with my life and what my purpose is. As both a want-to-be philosopher and an extremely analytical person, I probably spend more time thinking about these questions than most people. 

The answers, however, are much more accessible and obvious than they may appear. "What does God want me to do with my life?" is not as important a question as "WHO does God want me to BE?". 

And who does God want me to be? His child. 
So what does He want me to do with my life? What is my purpose? 
To Love him. Seek him. 

The new year has me thinking a lot about the prospect of the future....

And I honestly have no idea where I am going to be five years from now. Those five year and ten year plans have always had me stumped. In fact, I don't even know where I'm going to be a year from now! I have always been jealous of the people who have specific, set goals for the future. But the fact is, no matter how much seeking of God I have done, he has only revealed a little bit to me. Where I am now, and WHO I am now. 

I know that I love people. 
I know that my deepest desire is to see people come to know his love. 
I know that I love writing, speaking, and encouraging. 
I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now.
I know that God has a plan for my life.

So for now, I am trusting him, and living moment by moment and day by day. I will continue to grow and learn more about myself and what I want out of life. I will continue to pursue goals like running and education. But when the daunting question, "What am I going to do with my life?" comes up, I know that I don't have to have all the answers right now. 

If there is one thing that I have learned this passed year, its that life unfolds piece by piece. Sometimes doors open, sometimes doors close. While planning and dreaming are important and vital for success, flexibility and willingness to be led are also vital. 

I'm so excited about the prospect of a new year, a fresh start... 
It's crazy to see how far I have come since last year. How much God has brought me through. How much has changed. This time last year, I was living 5,000 miles away, and I had no idea where I would be living, where I would be going to school, or whether or not I would get the chance to be on a cross country team.

I wonder where I will be this time next year? Its kind of exciting, not knowing. 

This is my favorite music to listen to lately. It's been on repeat almost this whole time. 

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