The Filter Matters

In today's social media savvy world, I hardly have to convince Instagram users how much filters impact an Instagram post. Whether you prefer "Hudson" or "Lo-Fi", chances are you have used a filter on at least one of your uploaded photos to make it look better. And, if you are one of those #nofilter people - the true photographers on Instagram that believe that filters taint 

the purity of their art - you are still likely to recognize that having a filter 

(or not having it, in this case) 

has the power to significantly affect how an image is perceived. 

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my uncle about a vast array of topics. He is an incredibly wise and hilarious and down-to-earth guy with 

loads of life experience and valuable things to say... 

the kind of guy that you really hope will show up to family gatherings.  

One of the topics my uncle hit on was filters. But not the Instagram kind. Instead, he talked about how we select which filters through 

which we will perceive our own lives. 

We should choose to filter our experiences through truth. 

We should not choose to filter truth through our experiences. 

It is true, for example, that I am a gifted runner. Now, it would be easy for me to filter that piece of truth through my experiences and talk myself out of that truth. I could compare myself to some other very talented runners on my own team, for example, and in doing so remember that I am not nearly as  gifted as them and come to the conclusion that I am not gifted. Or I could dwell on experiences I have had that suggest I am not a gifted runner... such as that bad race I had that one time or the workout I almost failed to complete. 

But I have been blessed to make it to the collegiate level as a runner. So the truth is that I have some amount of gifting in this sport. It does not matter what that gifting is compared to my teammates or that I struggled with that workout last week. The truth matters, and the truth is that I have been gifted with something (be it determination, endurance, or just refusal to give up..) 

that helps me to do well in this sport. 

So, let's try it the other way. If I have a bad experience (such as a bad race), but choose to filter it through truth (that I am a gifted runner), I am able to look at the situation with clarity and balance. Instead of spiraling into negativity and believing that I am a failure as an athlete, I should be able to look at my race critically to discern which areas I can improve upon - 

without loosing all of my confidence. 

This concept makes the most sense to me when I think about spiritual truths. 

Truth: I am a child of God. Truth 2: My identity is in Jesus. 

Experience: I fail at something, or I loose a job, or I speak harshly to a friend. 

Instead of dwelling on these experiences and making them my filters... 

leading to feelings of  discouragement and condemnation... 

I need to filter them through TRUTH 

and see that my mistakes are not my identity. 

The filter matters. It changes the way we perceive the world. 

The filter matters. 

Exploring Religions - Christian Science

An abridged version of this essay will go out in my father's newsletter for Gatebreaker Ministries in the fall. Though this is hardly exhaustive, however, it is much more detailed and expressive and personal than the article I wrote for Gatebreakers. 

Located right in the heart of downtown Boise on the corner of 10^th and Bannock is a trendy little coffee shop known as “The District”. With its vintage furniture, fair trade coffee, and novelty menu items such as cardamom and lavender lattés, The District has all of the characteristics of the hipster-brand coffee establishments that have been springing up all over the Northwest.

The District has become quite popular, and it is especially frequented by members of the twenty-something Christian community. And, as cliché as it is, one of this demographics’ favorite pastimes is to discuss philosophy, religion, or politics while sipping on cappuccinos.  We believe we can solve the world’s problems by simply turning over ideas and conversing about solutions. The conversation always turns back to Jesus, of course, and we grow with excitement as we ponder the relentless love exhibited by the cross and wonder at the power of the resurrection.  The passion inside of us bubbles up to overflowing, and we realize that we don’t need to solve the world’s problems. They have already been solved. We simply need to deliver the world that message.

One Wednesday evening, having just finished such an exchange, I left the District and began walking to my car. I felt equally inspired and dutiful, and my thoughts were still occupied with the prior conversation. As I walked, however, my attention was drawn to a sign on a building I had never before noticed. It read “Christian Science Reading Room”. My curiosity was sparked. Venturing nearer, I recognized a Bible in the window display. It was surrounded with several informational pamphlets and another book entitled “Science and Health” by Mary Baker Eddy.

Curiosity had had led me to that spot, but a more powerful force now held me there. Though God has given me a deep passion for studying different religions that has led me to educate myself about various belief groups, I realized that I knew next-to-nothing about Christian Science. I felt an undeniable tugging on my heart from the Holy Spirit, and I knew I needed to go inside. Whatever this religion was, I needed to learn about it.

So I went inside. As it’s name implied, the “reading room” was a designated building for both reading and contemplation. The texts of choice? The Bible - the very same Christian Bible that I have read and studied throughout my life - and Science and Health, a guidebook and interpretation of the Bible written by Mary Baker Eddy. A kind man at the front desk greeted me hospitably and was more than willing to answer any of my questions regarding Christian Science. He seemed pleased (and perhaps even slightly surprised) that such a young girl had wandered into this seemingly quiet religious venue.

Of course I had many questions, and these questions opened the door to a genuine conversation regarding our respective faiths. My purpose was not to convert this kind hearted man, but instead I endeavored to understand him and what he believed. He grew up in the Church of Christ, Scientist, and had dedicated his life to its claims. He gently corrected my assumption that Christian Science was related to Scientology – a religion that has recently become popular due to some of its celebrity members. The two religions, in fact, have almost no similar properties, but they are commonly associated.

Like a child on her first day of school, I did my best to soak up every bit of knowledge that my instructor was trying to teach me. He explained that Christian Science is centered on the belief that man is not physical, but spiritual. According to Science and Health: “Spirit is God, and man is His image and likeness. Therefore man is not material; he is spiritual”(S&H 468). Growing up in a charismatic tradition, I am in no way taken back by the idea that man is spiritual. And the idea that man is made in the image of God (Genesis 1:7) is entirely Biblical and foundational to Christianity.

I was surprised, however, by what I was told next. Based on the understanding that man is spiritual, Christian Scientists claims that matter - such as bone, blood, and flesh - does not exist. In accordance with this, Christian Scientists believe that sin and sickness do not truly exist.  The consequences of sin and sickness, therefore, are only real as long as humans believe that they are. Therefore medicine is not encouraged.

My new friend continued to explain that Christian Science recognizes the importance of Jesus as a “way-shower”. Jesus was, in fact, “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:16), Science and Health, however, teaches that Jesus was not himself God, but the son of God. "Jesus is the name of the man who, more than all other men, has presented Christ, the true idea of God, healing the sick and sinning and destroying the power of death" (Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy, 473:10-17).

When I inquired after the trinity, I was informed that Christian Science doesn’t affirm the trinity. The threefold nature of God is recognized by this church as “Life, Truth, and Love” (Science and Health, 331:26-332:3). They do not believe that God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, however. I was informed by one of my Christian Science friends that the Holy Spirit of the Bible does not refer to a person but instead to “divine science”.

If you are confused at this point, don’t worry. I was too. I felt as if I had entered a sort of metaphysical, humanistic world. Which is pretty much exactly the kind of world that Science and Health really teaches.

What confused me the most, however, was not the doctrine of this sect that was completely foreign to me. What confused me the most was the fact that all of its claims were based on the Bible – and that they kind of made sense. Moreover, this man I had been speaking to was so completely convinced that he had the truth. With all of the compassion he could muster, he held it out for me to take.

As all deep thinkers must constantly do, I wrestled with these thoughts and attempted to sort out truth from falsehood. There was truth present in what he was telling me…. But there was falsehood, too. And if what he was saying wasn’t false…. then I was the one who was wrong.

However, after grappling with these ideas for a time, attending a Christian Science church service for more information, and studying the Bible and Biblical resources, I was able to more readily discern the major flaws in the Christian Science doctrine.

Though I accept the idea that man is spiritual as Biblical and believe that we are made in the image of God, (Genesis 1:26), this idea has been taken to the extreme in Christian Science. Anything taken to the extreme can be hazardous.

Furthermore, there is absolutely no place in the Bible that Jesus heals anyone by telling him or her to deny the reality of sickness (Gatebreakers, 161). If Jesus truly was the “way shower” and sickness really is a false reality, wouldn’t Jesus have explicitly said this to his followers?

Lastly, not only do I believe that the Bible supports the Trinity, but I also cannot adhere to any doctrine that denies the divinity of Jesus Christ. This fact is supported in John 1:1 and John 1:14 to name just two of several scriptural backings.

Perhaps most importantly, I was struck by something that my friend said - very casually - during our conversation. “Jesus showed us how to use God to be the best versions of ourselves”. “Use God”? His word choice in this case was unintentional and subtle but incredibly telling. How can we…. mere human beings… claim to use God? Or even have the audacity to try to do so? ANY religion that puts me on the same level as God is one that I cannot possibly accept or adhere to.

Still, I am disturbed by how faithfully people cling to these doctrines… and to other religious doctrines for that matter. I have been actively studying Mormonism for quite some time now. I have had conversations with the kindest and most devoted Muslims. A Jehovah’s Witness missionary came to my door the other day with a warm smile and a message that he would take to the ends of the earth. All of them thinking they have the truth.

And I think I have the truth. I know I do, actually. Because Jesus is the truth. Jesus is the answer. The simple gospel. The way to the Father. Kingdom reality. He is the only thing that makes sense after all of my questioning and philosophizing.

I will not go so far as to claim I have the whole truth. I think that is an ignorant claim for any Christian to make. There are so many ways to interpret the Bible and even Christians disagree on fundamental things like hell and salvation. And I can’t answer all of the many questions that arise in my mind about universalism and such… accept that I believe that God judges the heart. So I pray earnestly that the people I speak to will seek and find the love of Jesus.

In his book Metaphysics, Aristotle wrote: “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” This is exactly what I aim to do as I embark on this new journey of studying other religions. I have to reflect on ideas that are messy and difficult, and as I seek after truth my faith will be challenged…. And hopefully strengthened.

My purpose in writing this is not only to inform readers about Christian Science. It also is to encourage people to be bold and loving in the face of religions that contradict their own. We are called to be a light in the darkness, and conversation is a key component to spreading the love of God. Of course we must approach these conversations with heavenly wisdom (James 3:17), but we should also approach them with love and genuine interest. We are called to be missionaries in our communities, and sometimes this can be as simple as showing interest in what others are interested in. Instead of fearing ideas that are different, we need to equip ourselves with knowledge of the Bible and engage in conversations and relationships with people of other faiths.

Sometimes we need to step out of our coffee shop conversations and step into the real and messy world. It is there that we will be challenged and stretched. It is there that God will work through us and in us. It is there that we will see our faith in action. 

Real Reality

You know those credit card commercials that try to make consumers feel like they are buying an experience instead of just accumulating debt? 

The ones that say things like:

 "Dress and Tux: $4,500. Flowers: $1,500. Happily ever after: priceless".

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, here is a funny example I found: 

 

Anyway, I saw one of these advertisements when I went to see The Hobbit a few nights ago. It was just a little sticker on the ticket-booth window, 

but it completely caught my attention. 

All it said was "A break from reality: priceless".

Now, you probably have already gathered that I have a tendency to philosophize even the smallest matters, 

but I could not help but be kind of taken back by this advertisement. 

I have two initial problems with it. 

1. The fact that Americans crave a break from reality kind of saddens me. I understand that feeling... I have had it before. But why do we want to escape? And as much as I enjoy movies and appreciate their artistic contribution to the world (and I really do), I cannot help but feel like entertainment is simply a means to numb us to the deep void we feel when we have nothing to do and have to sit quietly and reflect. 

2. If I haven't lost you yet, this second point is what I am really trying to get at. For the movies to be "a break from reality", that would have to mean that our day-to-day, eating, sleeping, going to work lives are the ultimate reality. 

I do not believe that is true, however. 

All of that stuff, well, it's kind of a fake reality. I am not saying it is bad. I am not saying it is good. I am simply saying that it lacks substance. 

In reality, it isn't the "real reality". 

Have I lost you yet? Stay with me here. 

God's reality is the real reality. And when we are distracted from that fact with our fake reality, we can do very little to grow as Christians or to impact the world for Christ. If we become caught up in the "fake reality" and think it is the real reality... and then furthermore go to movies to distract ourselves from what we believe to be the real reality... we have a huge mess on our hands. 

I do not want to be numbed to God's reality. I want to exist in it and be constantly aware of it. At the same time, however, I know that we were created to live this life... and that it would be wrong for me to say that we are supposed to walk around being ultra-spiritual to the extent that we scare people away from Jesus. 

Both extremes are incorrect. 

Instead, those two realities can and should merge. 

We should be "naturally spiritual and spiritually natural". 

Like Romans 12:1-2 (MSG) says:

 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

So, I will continue to go to movies. But not because I want a break from reality. Instead, I want to place my reality before God and walk in His reality. 

I want to fix my attention on Him. 

Embracing the incredible reality that He has for me?... priceless. 

Lay Them Down

You know those days where you just feel weighed down and exhausted?

I had one of those days yesterday. Heaviness settled on me like the thick frost that covers the November ground each morning.

It began during cross-country practice. We are tapering this week leading up to Regional's, so our mileage is much lower than normal. It should have been a fairly easy practice, but the cold made it notably difficult.

Winter has come in with a biting cold, and trying to do an interval work out in forty-degree weather is not easy. After we adjust to it, it will not be a problem. But coming off of sixty-degree weather, the cold was a thorough shock. My entire team expressed how out of shape they felt, and our breathing was shallow and sharp.

So I didn’t have a great practice. And I want to blame my poor performance on the cold, but that wouldn’t be an entirely accurate claim. Everyone was running in the cold. And everyone else refused to let it slow them down.

I felt heavy though. Physically and mentally.

My mind was weighed down by so many things. By comparison. By doubt. By discouragement. By negativity. This season has not been what I wanted it to be, and I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself for this last race. A bad practice right before Regional's was the last thing I needed. 

And then, on top of all of that, I began to feel condemned for being so negative! There are so many more important things in the world to worry about. And I am so blessed… what right do I have to feel upset about my performance as a runner when people are starving and countries are war-torn and people don’t know about Jesus? How selfish could I be???

What a seriously depressing cycle of thoughts.

I know that I was being irrational. I know that how I perform as a runner is so unimportant compared to how many things are going on in the world. I know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ and that God loves me unconditionally and overwhelmingly.

But I just felt exhausted and discouraged. There was more going on in my mind than I could process. I even cried on the way home.

 ....................................................................................

I am aware that this blog post has been incredibly depressing up until now, but I am sharing all of this with a purpose. I don’t want this to be a blog full of needless venting. Instead, I want it to be a documentation of how faithful God is in my life.

When I arrived home last night, I opened up to my mother about all of the negative thoughts I was experiencing. I knew they were not from God, but I didn’t know exactly how to combat them. I felt powerless.

My mother, who is incredibly wise and comforting, began to speak life over me and pray for me. She suggested that I go into my room and pray off the negative thoughts that were clouding over me.

So I prayed. And I woke up and prayed some more. 

I just spent time soaking in the love of God. 

And I felt peace settle over me.

Everything that seemed so complicated melted away in the warmth of His love and affection. And I felt SO much better.

And to top it off…

Right before I was about to get out of bed and get ready for the day, my sister came into my room and told me that my class was cancelled today!!! She had read it on facebook, and I wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told me.

So this morning has been lovely. I made a nice breakfast, which is a luxury when I’m usually frantically shoving food into my mouth on the drive to school. I finished my statistics homework. And I am blogging now. I think I may even take a nap later. The only true responsibility I have all day is practice!

I am incredibly grateful at them moment. I still feel a little heavy, but I am going to continue to pray throughout this week. I am very intimidated by this weekend’s race, but I am aware how little it is in light of how good God is. My identity is not in my performance. I have to remind myself that every day.

This blog post has been slightly intense, I know, 

but I want to end it with promise.

Everything is so simple, really. God loves us and wants to fight our battles for us. In fact, He has already won all of our battles on the cross! 

We don’t need to feel overwhelmed, heavy, or weighted down – because we don’t need to do it on our own. Instead, we need to “strip off every weight that slows us down…” and “run with endurance the race God has set before us”. (Romans 21:1)

So this morning, and every morning, I want to lay down all of those weights and walk in the joy and light-heartedness and peace that has been promised to me. Today, with time to rest, this seems easy. But I want to do this every day. And I want to encourage anyone reading this to do it, too. 

Whatever it is that is holding you down – whatever mindset, worries, or doubts – 

Strip them off. Lay them down.

Free and Unfettered!

So this is what it feels like to be a poor college student.

For the first time in my adult life, I can genuinely say that I am flat out broke. Is there any reason, someone please enlighten me,

 that textbooks should cost more than $400? 

Anyone? 

I didn't think so. 

I know it's all part of the experience. Typical. But I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I am going into debt (something that society frowns down upon) to get a degree (something almost essential in society) because society tells me that's how it is supposed to be. 

I'm not trying to complain. It's not like I'm destitute or anything. I'm sitting in my own room right now in a two story house and writing this blog on my own personal laptop. I'm beyond blessed. 

I'm just amused by it all, I guess. 

The wonderful thing is, I never really need to worry about money. I need to be wise, yes. But worry? That's not for me. 

Matthew 6 says it pretty clearly:

"There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. 

And you count far more to him than birds."

"What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."

I will be the first to admit that I worry about a lot of things. But God has been working to get me to relax. To steep my life in his provisions. In his reality. 

So that's just some food for thought for the day. And for everyday. 

Exploring Philosophy

“…But when hunger for bread came, when life began to be an earnest thing, then I realized in its dreadful depths, how poor and empty, how devitalized and comfortless, the new religion of our time had let me…. In the recesses of my being, the warmth of the gospel began to drive out the freezing chill of philosophy” – Abraham Kuyper (Qtd. A Book of Protestant Saints)

Summer has a way of making everything seem beautiful. I think the sun’s rays must permeate the soul, allowing light to flood in. Everything seems much more… simple. There is no room for busy thoughts or worry.
Summer is happy-go-lucky. Summer is carefree and unfettered.

If one is going to have an existential crisis, then, it is much more appropriate to do so in the winter. The winter casts a cold and dreary light on everything. Endless hours spent indoors can lend to sort of gloom, and it is only natural that the philosophical imagination would begin to run wild.

But not in summer, right?. Summer should be a time of light.

Who am I kidding? The search for truth never rests.

And lately, despite the bliss that summer usually brings,
my thoughts have been a little crowded.
Millions of seemingly impossible questions have taken up residency in my mind,
and it is as if a dark cloud has been blocking the radiant summer sun.

Honestly, I think everyone needs to have at least one moment of self-reflection in life. Everyone must ask themselves why they believe what they believe. 
For some, this may only need happen once.
For others, like me, it might be an almost daily occurrence.
I want truth. I am not interested in beautiful mythology or comforting ideology.

I am guessing that there are many people like me in the world, and that is likely why philosophy has become such a popular subject to study. 

While it is a certainly stimulating topic, however,
I have come to realize that philosophy is mostly empty.

It is just fluff. Not substance. Just milk. Not meat. 

Just questions. Not answers.

I realize that I am still young and that I lack life experience relative to many, but truth does not care about age nor hide itself from the young.

And truth, I have found time and time again, is ONLY in Jesus. 

He is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6). 

Every time I have a crisis of faith, I come once again back to this reality. 

He is the answer to every complex and 

impossible question I could ever conjure up. 

All of the gloomy shadows have been cast on my mind the last few weeks have been (once again) displaced by this glorious realization. 

The truth of the gospel, warm and inviting, has brought me back into the light of summer. I know why I believe why I believe. It’s because of Jesus.

Perfecting Your Form

This was my last week of track practice before NWAACCS,
and that means one thing - tapering.

I don't know how other runners feel about tapering, 

but I feel like a caged animal.

And a little lazy. 

Low volume, high intensity. 

This is the "peaking" process in a nutshell. 

We run lower mileage and stay clear of the weight room, allowing our muscles to be fully recovered and full of glycogen so that we can have the best race of our season during championships. 

So track practice as of late hasn't been crazy difficult like normal. Instead, we have turned our attention to sharpening our speed, gaining a winning mentality, and focusing on little details - like form. 

Since I first began running competitively, 

my coaches have been telling me that I am a "hopper". 

Meaning that, if you watch me run,

 I tend to exert just as much energy vertically as I do horizontally. 

Like I literally have "a hop in my step". 

The problem is, you want to go forward - not up - when you are running fast. It is inefficient. And so my form can sometimes hold me back. 

To combat this, my current coach has been working with me on my form A LOT. On leg turn-over. On moving my legs forward instead up upward. 

Luckily, I have started to see improvement. 

And, though my form is far from perfect, it is getting better. 

Sometimes even the smallest details make a HUGE difference. 

Spiritually, it is easy to just try to "run the race" without focusing on little things like our spiritual form.

 But the Bible clearly says that we need to "strip off every weight that slows us down" (Hebrews 12:1) 
- And that means that paying attention to our spiritual form may be a good idea. 

And we don't have to work on our form all alone!

Jesus is our "coach", and he empowers us will the ability to "be perfect, as [our] heavenly Father is perfect".  Matthew 5:48

Tomorrow morning I leave for my track championships. All of the hard work, practice, and attention to form that I have put in this season will come down to just three races.It is time to perform. 

And that's a lot of pressure. 

I only have one chance. 

And we only have one life. 

1 Corinthians 9:24 says "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

I want to run to win. 

Lately

I don't know if I'm just overdosing on Vitamin D or what (all this sunshine!!!), but I could not have been happier lately. Summer is slowly showing its face, and a mixture of nostalgia and excitement is coming with it. 

This school year is winding down. As I am getting ready to transfer and move on from this college, I cannot help but reflect on the last two years that I have spent here and all of the things that I have learned. I'm so grateful. It hasn't always been easy, but I wouldn't trade these last two years. 

Lately I have realized how much I'm going to miss my track friends. 

They have all become so dear to me - 

there is nothing like grueling workouts to bring people together! 

Lately I have realized how much God's hand 

has been on my relationships here.

Yesterday I had a Bible study over coffee with a dear friend. I left feeling so blessed - so blessed that God has set up that relationship for both of our benefit. I didn't always have friends I could relate to in that way here (though I have had wonderful friends with different beliefs and ideas),

 and I'm so grateful that I do now. 

Lately I have had spring fever.... 

I've been feeling rather lazy. I don't want to do homework - or anything productive really. I just want to go to track practice. And enjoy the weather. Case in point: I went through a box of cereal in two days. Purely because I didn't want to cook anything. 

Lately I have been questioning my plans for next year... 

but you always question big decisions. 

Lately I have been anxious/nervous/excited for track championships!!!!

NWAACCS is less than a week away.

I have a busy schedule - I'll be racing the 10k, the 1500m, 

and the 5k in a period of two days. 

I'm really hoping for a gold medal, but I'm going to enjoy the races. 

Love to race. Love to win. Love to run :) 

Unripe Fruit

Have you ever bitten into a strawberry (or any kind of fruit for that matter) 

that wasn't quite ripe yet? 

I LOVE strawberries, 

and I am ecstatic about them almost being in season again.

But there is nothing worse than buying strawberries 

and having to wait to eat them! 

There have been quite a few times that I lacked patience, and, instead of waiting until my strawberries were perfectly ripe, I ate them as they were - 

a little green and everything. 

And you know what? They tasted terrible. Not nearly as good as normal strawberries. In fact, I didn't like them very much at all. 

...................................................................................................................................................................

Lately, I have sort of felt like a failure. 

I'm not looking for sympathy - or even being down on myself - 

I'm just making a point. 

I have worked really hard this year at a lot of things, and I have always been of the mentality that "you reap what you sew".  So, naturally, I have expected that my hard work would lead to success. 

This has not always been the case, however. I have been sewing and sewing and sewing in various areas of my life, and I have yet to reap the benefits I desired. 

I have been working hard, 

and that hard work has not quite come to fruition yet.... 

As a result, I found myself asking God the other day "What is the point of all my hard work if it's not bearing any fruit? 

Why am I investing myself into all these things to no avail?" 

I feel like God wants me to pour into all the relationships he has placed in my life and work hard at all of the tasks I have been given (track, school, government), but it is sometimes discouraging when I don't see any fruit. 

But I came across this verse this morning when I was reading the Bible. 

Isaiah 49:4 

I replied "But my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the Lord's hand; I will trust God for my reward."

Here, Isaiah was struggling with the exact thing I have been struggling with.

 But he clearly recognized that, despite the evidence,

 he was to trust God and God alone for his reward.

...................................................................................................................................................................

I have to do the same thing. 

Instead of biting into fruit that is unripe, 

I need to be patient and trust God to bear fruit in my life. 

After all, it is not in my own strength that I accomplish anything - 

it is through his strength (Philippians 4:13). 

I'm sure those strawberries will taste a whole lot better 

if I wait for them to ripen!!!

It's Simple

Like most college students, I tend to constantly be preoccupied with my future. 

Actually, like most people, I tend to be preoccupied with my future. 

This is a common problem. 

But college, especially, is such a transitional season. It seems that everything I do - choosing a major, getting internships, deciding which city to live in - is in preparation for the next step in my life. 

As a Christian college student, the concept of "calling" 

is of particular concern to me. 

I find myself constantly wondering about God's call on my life, and, in turn, doing everything I can  to navigate my path in the direction that I feel is consistent with this magical call. 

Lately, however, I have been thinking about my calling A LOT. Because I am in the process of transferring to a new school, and because I will be a junior, I am now officially declaring a major. 

I know this is an important decision. I would like to propose, however, that decisions like these are not as important as many Christians (including myself) usually make them out to be. 

I was recently in a conversation with a dear friend who is going to be leaving for Mozambique, Africa in a month to do missionary work over the summer. She made an interesting point.... 

American Christians are so fixated on the concept of "calling" - "I am called to be a doctor" or 

"I am called to be an artist" or 

"I am called to be a stay-at-home parent". 

But do we ever see this mindset portrayed by Christians in third world countries? No - the concept of a specific calling into a specific field is a foreign concept to them! 

They realize that we are called to love God and love people. 

Somehow, American Christians have managed to 

complicate and incredibly simple command. 

I am not saying that God doesn't sometimes nudge people in particular directions - of course He does!!!! I am simply saying that God is not limited by our choices. Worrying so much about whether my career choice lines up with the calling I think God has on my life is not giving God enough credit. 

He is the God of the universe. If I abide in him, and I desire to follow his lead, it is pretty hard for me to get outside of his will.  

Ultimately, it doesn't really matter if I major in political science or nursing. It's about who I am (a child of God) and not what I do! Whatever I do or don't major in, he will work with it. 

 So what now? 

It's simple. 

Love God. Love people. 

Unfiltered Access

"Do you value your freedom of speech? If you do, then exercise your rights and get a Twitter account - even if you don't use it!" 

My Anthropology professor made this comment the other day in regards to how social media has created a social revolution. 

As a 21 year old, I honestly rarely turn on the news. But I check Twitter everyday. Within an hour of the Boston bombings, I had access to unfiltered and raw information from thousands of different vantage points. 

The pictures were unedited - the information unbiased. 

Within fifteen minutes of the bombing in Waco, I was able to watch it happen via a video posted on Twitter - and I live in Idaho. 

I knew about a earthquake on the Pakistan border 

only a few hours after it happened. 

Unlike people of my parents' generation, I do not have to turn to the news to know what's going on in the world. And I support the news - don't get me wrong. I want to be a broadcaster even. But the news can be incredibly biased. And social media, while sometimes subject to ignorance and oddity, helps deliver authentic information. 

As a result, we are made constantly of the sadness in the world. 

This week, social media has been flooded with tragedy after tragedy. I am continuously aware of bombings, murders, and robberies - these things seem to stand out a little next to 

silly Facebook banter and pictures of peoples' food on Instagram. 

As a result, I have been thinking a lot. Reflecting. I think everyone has. 

I'm grateful to know about these things, 

but I am burdened with the weight of knowledge. 

The only thing we can do is pray - and lay those burdens at feet of the One who can make anything work together for the good. He can take what the enemy meant for destruction and somehow work it out. And that is beyond my understanding. But it does bring peace. 

What Would Jesus Do? Seriously.

W.W. J. D. 

What. Would. Jesus. Do. 

You've seen it on billboards, bracelets, and t-shirts. 

It's a catchy slogan. 

In fact, I've heard people who don't even buy into Jesus saying it. 

I want to say it popped up during the 90s, but - let's be honest - I wasn't alive before that, so I could be wrong. 

When I was in fifth grade we all thought it was kind of dorky.

 I guess it still sort of is. 

But I also sort of think it's cool. The concept is great. I even have a bracelet that I wear when I race that says W.W. J. D. on it. Stylish, I know. 

But what does the phrase actually mean? 

And even more than that - how is it applicable to my life, here and now? 

I want to imitate Jesus in all aspects of life... not in just the obvious ways. 

So you have to bear with me, because I believe that EVERY part of life, even running, even going to Anthropology class, even folding laundry....... 

could use a little Jesus. 

And with that in mind, I have been asking questions lately. 

Like: 

"If Jesus were a runner, how would he act?"

"If Jesus were running a race, how would he feel?"

"What would he think?" 

"Would he be nervous?"

"Would he want to be beat everyone?"

No, Seriously. 

"What would Jesus do????"

Well, I'll tell you what he wouldn't do. 

He wouldn't compare himself to the other athletes. 

He wouldn't worry that he wasn't going to perform well. 

He certainly wouldn't place determine value and his worth by how he performed. 

I think that if Jesus had to run a literal race, he would be remarkably calm about it. Sure, he may get a little jittery at the start. And he would do his best - I mean, he's Jesus. 

But he would know that,

 no matter how he performed, he had the love of the father. 

He would understand that it wasn't about how good he looked. 

That he wasn't running for his glory. 

He would be confident in the fact that, win or lose, 

God's glory would shine through him. 

He would be joyful. Because God delights in his children. 

Tomorrow morning I'm headed to Spokane, and tomorrow night I'm racing a 10k. My favorite race. The race that I care the most about. This particular meet is HUGE. Tons of schools will be there, and the competition is fierce. 

But I don't want to be nervous. Or to worry. Or to put too much stock in it. 

Because it's not about me. 

It's about Him. 

How can you apply this concept to your own life? 

To your own job or hobby or relationship? 

W.W. J. D?